Life goes on...

So in my first post I mentioned that in December I had a miscarriage.  I really hope to never experience that again, and to this day many people don't know I had one.  But I wanted to just put it out there because, frankly I'm tired of dodging posts and questions about it.

I had it right before my birthday, in fact, the last day of my bleeding/spotting was my birthday.  OMG I was a mess.  I am so thankful that I had my husband, sister, mom, dad, Angela, Amanda, Deb, Candace and Amie.  I am really lucky to have had their support and that they didn't mind listening to me babble on and on about it. It really was the most intense emotional pain I had ever experienced in my life and I hope to never experience it again.  It was also comforting to hear that some of them had also gone through what I had just experienced.  Knowing that I wasn't alone in my pain gave me some comfort and I was able to push through and move forward knowing that everything happens for a reason.  Maybe my reason is because I am supposed to graduate (finally!) this year with my BS in Psychology with a minor in Biology.  Maybe my reason is to dedicate this time entirely to Zackary.  Maybe it's because Jason would have been gone the entire pregnancy and birth and not be home until the kid was well over 3 months.  Maybe he is supposed to be home for the whole pregnancy and birth like he was with Zackary.  Who knows?  In any case, I have come to terms with it.  I look forward to getting to work on that task as soon as he returns from deployment.  Ha Ha!  Hopefully it won't be long before we are pregnant again.  I really want Zackary to be a big brother, even if it is a seven year age gap!  I have names picked out for when the times comes.  I think that is one of the things that will make the time go by so sloooooooooow!  I am hoping it doesn't drag on!  That would be torture!  I'm tempted to make my own port call to see him!  But only if it was guaranteed to be around a time that I would be ovulating.  I know, silly, right?

Anyway, well, I'm glad that I got most of what I wanted to express off my chest.  Something like this can be so hard to express into words.  When it happened I couldn't even speak.  I'm glad that my husband understood and helped me through the grieving process as much as a person could, especially since he was grieving as well.  I will always respect Jason for the love and unconditional support he gave me at the worst time in my life.  I love him for everything he did to help me get through it.  I am thankful for my sister sitting with me and watching tv while I bled, for Amie and her boys for dropping off the flowers to make me smile, for Deb, Angela, Candace and Amanda for talking to me and letting me cry.  I am thankful for my parents, who also grieved with us.  I love them for everything they did and didn't have to do, for just being my friend, and doing what best friends should do...being there for be.

Until I have another one, I am content to play with my friend's babies.  RJ and Kira are my faves.  They are the sweetest little babies since my Zackary.  I love to see them smile and discover new things.  I thank Kari and Nic for letting me love her, and Bobby and Carolyn for letting me love RJ.  While some may think that it would make it worse, it doesn't.  I think it's because I could never hate my true friends for having a baby because I couldn't.  Everyone should be blessed with the joy of having a child to love and care for, and those two couples are absolutely wonderful parents and I know that those babies are two of the luckiest kids in the world.  I love that both couples have been here for me since Jason left and I know I can call them up if I ever need anything.  I'm babbling now, I feel.  But I just had to get that out.

All in all, while I know what I went through was tragic, I know something good is on the way.  I feel lucky to have Zackary.  I have a wonderful life, a loving husband, a beautiful son, a fabulous sister and fabulous parents, and fantastic friends.  And, Melanie, you will be buying me that Coach diaper bag someday!  I promise!  :)  Good night!

Finally Friday!

Finally!  Last Friday of the month!  I can't believe that the shortest month of the year seems like it has been the longest month of all!  I thought that him leaving in February would be good because it is the shortest month, you would think that would make it a quick month down in my countdown!  So what has really only been about 3.5 weeks feels like 3.5 months!  UGH!  I hope the next month goes by faster!  Of course, now I am dying for April to come because April 7th a new episode of Vampire Diaries comes back!  Well, at least it gives me something to look forward to...kind of.


So I start my Spring term next week.  Yay and Boo all at the same time!  I am excited because it puts me closer to finishing school, but boo because, well, boo it's school!  I am hoping that the classes are not as boring as they sound.


Tonight I watched Ponyo with my little man.  He crashed out at the beginning of the movie, but I, however, found it to be totally cute!  Made me miss Japan though.  I love having Netflix streaming from my PS3.  So nice to just turn on a movie whenever I feel like it.  Thanks, Nic, for hooking it all up for me.  So easy now that I know how to use it.


I am really missing my husband.  I feel like this year is going to drag.  I am dying for summer to get here.  I am hoping that the summer time will make the rest of my time without him go by much faster.  Ugh, I still have to mop.  I know, random right?  I can't help it, I say whatever comes into my head.  Hopefully writing it all out will help me to remember to do it too.  If by some miracle it helps me to remember, then, Dianna, you need to schedule an eye exam and buy some k-cups for your Keurig.  And now it's not just the coffee ones you need but the tea ones as well.  Let's hope I remember all that this weekend.  Oh, and hook up the printer and check out if your school stuff is online.  Ok.  Noted.


Zackary is again asleep in my bed.  I just can't say no to him.  But I did forewarn him that come his sixth birthday he can no longer sleep in my bed.  He insists that he is a big boy yet come bedtime he wants to be babied and put in bed with me.  While I love that he wants to be my little baby boy at night I really would like to enjoy sprawling out in my own bed!  Even in a king size bed this kid has managed to squish me off to one end almost to the point that I am falling off the bed.  Oh, and having a five year old's head shoved in your back or getting kicked in the face throughout the night is not fun either.  How on earth does he manage to be so mobile in his sleep?  I can hear him snoring.  What a stinkin' cutie!


So I ordered a new headband from Luxe Boulevard last night!  I can't wait for it to get here!  I am super excited to try it on.  I definitely need to get the other ones I had my eyes on.  I am so excited for it I think as soon as it arrives I will rip it out of the packaging and put it on immediately.  I wish I had the creativity and talent to create something so beautiful.  At least my little man is gorgeous!  If I never make nifty crafts at least I know I can make beautiful babies, right?  


Tomorrow I go down to see my parents.  Hurray for a free lunch.  I need to save my money so I take my free meals when I can.  I wish they would pay for me to get my hair touched up though. Hopefully our state tax return comes in soon.  I have some plans for that money!  What could be more fun than putting it towards bills and savings?  I know, lucky me right?  At least it puts me somewhat closer to being as debt free as possible.  


So today my sister (who is working on her second Bachelor's degree, this one in nursing, the over achiever :) still love her though) tells me that she had to wrap some old man's balls in gauze because they had gangrene!  OMG, gangrene on the testicles???  YUCK!  Poor sister.  Thank goodness for the latex gloves, I suppose.  But, gees, how awkward for both parties involved.  I don't know if I will ever look at her poor little hands the same again.


Well, it's off to bed for me....need to get up a bit earlier tomorrow so I can go see my parents, but grab a latte on the way over.  My next post will probably be more about me, like all that nice getting to know you stuff.  Fun times.  So until next time....goodnight!


Princess Mommy


Hmmm....sirens at 1 am?  Hope everything is ok outside....

Welcome To My World

So, I haven't blogged in forever.  I could barely come up with a title because my brain is so focused on other things going on in my life.   I had to enlist the help of  one of my best friends, Candace H., in order to figure out what to call my blog.  Thank goodness she knows me well enough to get inside my head and help me pull out what I wanted to say but couldn't find in my brain files.  


So a little about me.  I'm Dianna.  I'm a Princess Mommy.  What is that, you ask?  Growing up I was always my dad's princess.  As I got older I continued to fancy myself a princess.  I like nice things, pretty things, things my way, well you get the picture.  I don't like to get dirty, nor do I like my child to be dirty.  That's where the Mommy part comes in.  I have one son who is 5.5 years old and I'm married to the love of my life, Jason.  He's in the Navy and currently deployed.  He just left and will be gone for a looooooong time!  Boo!  But life has to go on so I am going to power through this deployment and hope it goes by quickly.  When he returns, it's baby making time!  I am ready for baby number two!  If you know me and you are wondering, yes I had a miscarriage in December.  It was a difficult time for me, but I pride myself on being a strong woman and with the help of some awesome friends and my family I was able to get through the experience.


This will just generally be about my life day to day and everything I experience and go through. So until next blog....
Princess Mommy